The DC Rollergirls

Cherry Blossom Bombshells 120 - 57 DC DemonCats
By Special Correspondent: Rock Clobster

The first bout of Saturday’s double header at the D.C. Armory pitted the Cherry Blossom Bombshells against the DC DemonCats. Both teams were hoping for a win to stay competitive in Season Six, the Bombshells going in with a 1-1 record and the DemonCats stuck at 0-2.

The Bombshells hit their target first: after the DemonCats’ Jersey Jill earned an early trip to the penalty box, Bombshell jammer Yankee Scandal scored nine points in an explosive power jam. Jill then returned to the track to score the DemonCats’ first points, making it 9-3 Bombshells. Veteran Bombshell jammers The Ultimate Whorrior and Hook N’ SlasHer, facing DemonCat rookies Wilhelmina Scream and Nina Ninja, added five and four points respectively in the next two jams to up the tally to 18-3.

Seven minutes into the half, Bombshell Lucky Penny suffered a run of bad luck—not only did she lose her starred helmet cover and with it her ability to score, she was sent to the box before having the chance to retrieve it. Although this left DemonCats jammer Mini Vandal alone on the track for a power jam, she still had to get past the Bombshells’ Artemis Conduct, and could only steal three points.

The DemonCats would not score again until midway through the first half, in a jam where penalties kept both jammers from earning lead status. The DemonCats’ Jersey Jill racked up nine points, while Bombshell Yankee Scandal melted down the differential with six points of her own. At the end of the full-length jam, the score stood at 27-16.

A strong Bombshell defense kept the DemonCats’ rookie jammers scoreless for the next five jams, while the Bombshells’ score bloomed to 38 with help from Ridin’ Dirty, Hook N’ SlasHer and Yankee Scandal. Next time around the track, Bombshell Ridin’ Dirty made a clean pass through the DemonCats, although Jersey Jill snuck up behind her: both scored to make the tally 41-17.

Bombshell jammer The Ultimate Whorrior, aided by some big hits from Nubian Nemesis, bagged five more. Near the end of the half, Jersey Jill wowed the crowd, taking lead jammer three more times and ending the first half with a big nine-point jam to make the halftime score 54 Cherry Blossom Bombshells, 34 DC DemonCats.

Returning from halftime, Jersey Jill tried to shore things up for her team by earning two more points for the DemonCats. But the Bombshells’ domination continued in the next jam, as Lucky Penny, protected by blocker Scarlet O’ Snap’s stealth attack on Nina Ninja, scored nine. DemonCat Wilhelmina Scream bounced back from Helen Killah’s take-down to score her first three points of the bout, but Yankee Scandal then burned past a major multi-skater pileup to add four, bringing the score to 69-39 Bombshells.

After Jersey Jill slipped through the pack for four more, the DemonCats were stuck at 43 for the next five jams. Ten minutes into the half, Bombshell boom-chica-doom cashed in for four, but then both teams hit a scoring slump, with Bombshell Ridin’ Dirty adding one point, followed by two scoreless jams at 75-43.

Midway through the last half, Jersey Jill had a nine-point run, but Yankee Scandal and The Ultimate Whorrior flamed past the DemonCats in the next two jams to maintain a 30-point margin, 82-52. Lucky Penny scored three nickels worth with ten minutes left, while the DemonCats’ luck had all but run out. Only Jersey Jill would score again for the DemonCats, but her last five points did not improve the situation, after a Bombshell shellacking by The Ultimate Whorrior (9), Lucky Penny (4) and boom-chica-doom (5).

Although the DemonCats held the Bombshells scoreless in the bout’s final three jams, they were unable to scratch out any more points for themselves, with the game’s final score 120 Cherry Blossom Bombshells, 57 DC DemonCats.

Bombshell captain Lucky Penny aims for DemonCat jammer Jersey Jill as teammate Artemis Conduct holds the front. Photo: James Calder

Scare Force One 161 - 43 Majority Whips
By Special Correspondent: Rachel MadHo

Next up, the Majority Whips took to the track against Scare Force One for the first time in their inaugural season. The Whips’ tenacious jamming and pack work yielded some points throughout the game, but Scare Force kept the blows coming with consistent blocking and a sizable stable of veteran and rookie jammers. Scare Force prevailed with a final score of 161-43.

The very first jam was less than kind to the Majority Whips with jammer Stabigail Adams taking a trip to the penalty box just as Scare Force captain Soledad began her scoring pass. With six points up on the board and Stabby still serving her time, Scare Force sent co-captain Chinese Cheker to the jam line for another 16 points before Stabby’s return to the track forced a call-off.

Three jams in with 25 minutes on the clock, Nasty Pelosi put the Whips’ first points on the board in a 2-0 hit-and-quit. Another four jams went by before the Whips would score again. Despite holding Scare Force scoreless in two of those jams, Brutal Noodle and Deadly Lamarr put up another 13 points in the other two, bringing the total to 35-2.

A box trip for Scare Force’s Witchcrafty gave the Whips the chance to send Slam Grier out unopposed. The Whips eked out three points before Crafty returned, leaving the score 35-5. Whips hotshot Dual Hitizen, fresh from an impressive showing with Team France at last weekend’s Roller Derby World Cup, took to the jammer line next to continue what Slam started, putting up a four-point jam over Lenore Gore. In the next jam, though, Scare Force’s Sharp Shredder answered with a 5-0 grand slam and, with 13 minutes to play in the first half, the score stood at 40-9 Scare Force.

The Whips would only score in two more jams during the first half, pulling six points to Scare Force’s 46. 13 and 15-point tears for Deadly Lamarr and Marion Barrycuda swelled Scare Force’s score well beyond Dual Hitizen and Nasty Pelosi’s two and four-point gains, and the teams went to halftime with a score of 86-15 in favor of Scare Force.

Scare Force stayed ahead of the scoring in the second half as well, holding the Whips off the board for the first four consecutive jams while putting up 16 points of their own to land at 102-15 with 23 minutes left on the clock. The Whips caught a break when Brutal Noodle’s shortcut to the penalty box earned her an out of play major and an extra minute off the track—enough time for Jackie Mae Day to take an unopposed head start and score eight points for the Whips.

The next six jams, however, went 37-4 in Scare Force’s favor, with the greatest point increases courtesy of rookie skaters Deadly Lamarr and Sharp Shredder. In the latter half of the period, the Whips caught some momentum with hit-and-quit jams by Stabigail Adams and Dual Hitizen, but couldn’t keep up with Scare Force’s 22-8 run over the final five jams. The Whips ended strong, Maria Malicia and Jackie Mae Day holding Scare Force’s Feral Streak in the back of the pack long enough for Dual to clear the outside of the pack and come around for a final four points. Before Streak could add any more to Scare Force’s total, Dual called off the final jam, ending the game at 161 Scare Force One to 43 Majority Whips.

Season 5 Champions Scare Force One remain undefeated for Season Six while the Majority Whips are at 1-2 for their rookie year.

Congratulations, Soley!

Name: Soledad, #III

Team: Scare Force One, DC All-Stars

Years skating for DCRG: 3

 What is your favorite non-derby sport or cross-training activity?

I would be a big liar if I told you that I have a favorite non-derby sport or love to cross-train. I injured my knee pretty badly last season, so I have taken up biking to strengthen the joint and my legs. I love doing activities that keep me in shape by making me forget that I’m working out, like dancing, volleyball, and running through the streets of Boulder.

 Do you have a favorite food or drink before bouts?

I did until I got food poisoning last season! I had a double header that day with Scare Force and the All-Stars. I started feeling off, but thought it was nerves. I still haven’t been able to bring myself to eat at that particular food chain.

 What is the best thing about roller derby?

The game is constantly evolving. There is always something new to learn and master.

If I didn’t play roller derby…

If I didn’t play roller derby and never had, I would have a lot more free time on my hands and probably be 20 pounds heavier, but ignorantly happy. If I didn’t play roller derby because I couldn’t anymore, I would coach.

 What else would you like to share with your fans about yourself?

Support the DC All-Stars! The All-Stars are comprised of skaters from your favorite home teams who travel around the country representing DCRG. Our goal is to make it to the WFTDA Eastern Regionals tournament this season. Travel and practice space don’t come cheap. Go to the All-Stars page on our new and improved website and support your favorite rollergirl! I promise I’ll knock someone down for you if you do.

Scare Force One 218 - 61 DC DemonCats

Kicking things off was a reprise of last season’s championship bout between Scare Force One and the DC DemonCats. Scare Force got things started by putting team captain Soledad — also known for her fearsome blocks on defense — on the jammer line; she quickly established lead jammer, lapping DemonCat jammer Jersey Jill to take a 9-0 lead. Although Scare Force jammer Chinese Cheker grabbed lead jammer again in the second jam, the DemonCats’ Mini Vandal was able to put her team’s first points on the board after Cheker was sent to the penalty box, making the score 14-3 in Scare Force’s favor.

But it was the next jam from which the DemonCats would never really recover. It started as a powerjam favoring Scare Force, as Vandal had earned a track-cutting penalty just as time expired in the previous jam. That was only the beginning of a virtual penalty parade: at one point during the third jam, there were four DemonCats sidelined in the box. Scare Force jammer Marion Barrycuda turned the track into her own Ward 8 to score 20 unanswered points, creating a commanding 34-3 lead. Once the DemonCats had recovered from their penalty debacle, jammer Jersey Jill jumped in front of Scare Force’s Brutal Noodle to score four points and bring the score to 34-7.

Over the next three jams, Scare Force continued to build on their early lead, with Barrycuda coming back to score again and again while the Fright Attendants’ imposing defense kept rookie DemonCat jammer Nina Ninja from mounting a stealth attack. About midway through the first half, the DemonCats would score again to bring the total to 78-14 during a topsy-turvy jam in which neither team earned lead jammer. During the waning moments of the first half, the track became Jersey Jill’s personal turnpike, as she earned lead jammer and scored during four more jams for the DemonCats, but she wasn’t able to make a sizable dent in Scare Force’s commanding lead, which was up to 98-31 at halftime.

The DemonCats came out in the second half hoping to mount a comeback, but were stymied right away by penalties that kept most of their players off the track, leaving Soledad open to score 13 points in the half’s first jam. Even with jammer Chinese Cheker in the box during the second jam, Scare Force One’s defense prevented the DemonCats from gaining any traction to get the high-scoring jams they would need to recover. Five minutes into the half, with two DemonCats in the box, Scare Force’s Feral Streak flashed her way to 15 points, building her team’s lead to 131-43. Marion Barrycuda followed that up with another 15-point jam, opening up Scare Force’s lead to more than 100 points at 146-43.

Even though the DemonCats’ Jersey Jill was able to score several times during the half, she could only put a handful of points each time before being forced to call off the jams to prevent Scare Force from also scoring. Heading into the last jam of the bout with the score at 200-61, Scare Force co-captain Chinese Cheker took advantage of yet another powerjam in her team’s favor to bring the final score to 218 Scare Force One, 61 DC DemonCats.

–Rock Clobster

Velocityraptor and Helena Handbag of Scare Force tag-team DemonCats jammer Nina Ninja. Photo (c) James Calder

Cherry Blossom Bombshells 185 - 96 Majority Whips

In the second bout of the evening, the Cherry Blossom Bombshells faced off against the Majority Whips, who were still riding high off their first-ever win over the DC DemonCats in the Season 6 opener. The Whips drew first blood with Nasty Pelosi earning lead jammer and putting her team up to a 9-4 lead after the first jam. However, the Bombshells fought back hard, and while the Whips proved more successful in earning lead jammer during the first 10 minutes of the bout, a key Bombshell powerjam, combined with their jammers’ skill in chasing down their opponents, helped them build a 33-21 lead.

The Bombshells soon got a chance to blow the lead open when Nasty Pelosi was sent to the penalty box, leaving the door open for Yankee Scandal to rack up 20 unanswered points for her team. Several hit-and-quit jams in the Bombshells’ favor followed, but the Whips weren’t about to give up. They put rookie jammer (and former speed skater) Fierce Compredator on the line against the Bombshells’ Ultimate Whorrior, who remained tied up in the pack by the Whips’ Styx N Stones while Fierce racked up 9 unanswered points for her team, bringing the score to 64-37. The Whips then held the Bombshells scoreless for five jams, until Hook N SlasHer managed to capitalize on some ruthless blocking from her pack, led by Ivana Tripabitch, to put up 9 unanswered points for her team. The Bombshells went into the half with a firm but not insurmountable 79-47 lead.

The second half opened with a noticeable increase in penalties for both teams, with Nasty, SlasHer, and Ridin’ Dirty all poodling (i.e., intentionally drawing a fourth minor) within the first six minutes. The Bombshells managed to work the penalty pileup in their favor, however, taking lead jammer for the first eight jams of the second half and allowing the Whips only 4 points to their 30.

With 20 minutes left to play, though, the Whips again appeared as though they might make a comeback. Nasty Pelosi enjoyed a powerjam as SlasHer cooled her wheels in the box; with only Ivana Tripabitch and Ridin’ Dirty to contend with on the track, Nasty was able to sail her way to an easy 15 points. Another big 15-point powerjam for the Whips followed, courtesy of Jackie Mae Day. With the Whips closing in at 112-83, the Bombshells soon found the relief they needed in a succession of powerjams, with Yankee Scandal and Hook N SlasHer putting up 35 unanswered points to widen their lead to 76 points.

With 7:45 left to play, the Whips called a timeout to regroup, and managed to hold the Bombshells scoreless for the next three jams. But with time running out, even two end-of-bout powerjams for Slam Grier and Spank Erin weren’t enough to bring the Whips back into striking distance, and the Bombshells walked away with a hard-fought and long-awaited 185-96 victory.

-Helena Handbag